self-titled: ^_^
tv diary day 2
So I've officially given up. For the past three years, my spring breaks have been marked by excess: excessive drinking, excessive pushing my body past its limits, and excessive doing and seeing cool stuff. I can't do any of those this spring break, but I can still live it to excess. Excess of sloth and television. So i'm going to see if i can watch 12 hours of TV today. I have an assortment of chips, pretzels and candy. I have a cheeseburger for lunch and a chicken ceaser salad for dinner on their way from Johnny's in Newton. I have cokes. And i have my trusty palm pilot with keyboard so that I can record the entire process for posterity. So that years and years from now, when my kids bitch at me for not letting them go to the moon for their spring break, i can show them this and say "look, your father didn't have to go to the moon to have fun during his spring break. Now shut the hell up and make some nachos and watch tv."
I'm in my pyjamas. Is it that spelling, or is it pajamas? Does either work? Brady bunch is on now, i could watch PCU, but i think i'll watch the brady bunch. This show rules, it's so terribly sexist. I was reading last night's entry, and i was greatly amused actually. I particularly enjoyed the parts when i'd be jumping back and forth between elimidate and Fast Times without giving any warning. I also enjoy how fucking spastic i seem, with typos everywhere and the inability to keep one line of thought going for more than a sentence. I'm hungry, where's my burger? Wasn't mike brady in real life gay and died of aids? Rex reed i think his name was. Of course he was gay, "rex?" seriously.
So I saw a commercial for Drano Max. In this commercial they said that it worked better and faster than Liquid Plumber. Then i saw a commercial for Liquid Plumber saying that IT worked better and faster than Drano Max. Something's rotten in the state of denmark. Also, there was a girl on the brady bunch right now who was so terrible. I mean, her accent, if it was an accent was so bizarre. She just moved in from seattle, but she talked like a retarded british person. Ok the brady bynch is over, now what?
Holy shit, there's nothing on. i think i'll be switching between TRL and umm, i already forget what the other show was. Maybe i'll just watch quantum leap.
So this new shakira video is on VH1 and MTV right now, and i have this to say, Shakira sounds like she's retarded. There's not a single redeeming quality to her voice, she sounds TERRIBLE. What the hell is going on with the world? God DAMN it, i've seen this episode of quantum leap. Is that really elton john? he's not looking so bad.
Ooh, strongest man alive competition. I can switch between this and trading spaces and TRL. These dudes are pulling trains. So fucked up. I fucking love it that ALF is on the 10-10-220 commercial. that makes me happier than anything. Also, TLC is fucked up so i can't watch trading spaces. I don;t get world;s strongest man events: pull a train, carry a stone, life this, pull that. I wish they could come up with more interesting events. Uhoh, stumpy from England was using a ring to keep his arms around the stone, which have him an advantage over the guy from the USA. This fucking brit is taking away the title from our country. oh fuck. the feed just broke. and now espn2 became the tvguide channel.. Ok, saw britney and now espn2 is working again. ah shit, it's over. Dammit. I want more strongest man competitions!!! Oh for fucks sake, TLC is back but i've seen the goddam episode with the ugly ass rock fireplace. and now mtv is freaking out. What the hell is going on with the TV.
Who's idea were the banana runts? Seriously. they suck and no one likes them.
Yep, MTV just broke. Now i'm watching sabrina. this sucks everything i want to see i've either seen before or is fucking up on me.
Just saw two episodes of full house - didn't even flip the chnnel once. I'm getting soft. Cheers is on now. I'm tired. i kind of want to bring in a mattress so i can lay down. Odd, cliff's mom is on screen, i don't think i've ever seen her before.
Well, been a while. I sort of napped through cheers and then whatever was on after it and then my mom called and i was checking train schedules, looks like i'm leaving the dorm around 7:30 tomorrow. And then i watched the simpsons. Then came that 70's show, which is infinitely more better than that 80's show. And then i watched undeclared, which isn't bad and apparently has rufus wainwright's dad on the show. During that show i had my ceaser salad, good stuff.
Now i'm watchin frasier, and let me say this. Hurray for frasier for still being an entertaining, smart, and funny show after all these years. Friends is a freak show now, and most other shows don't last as long. But frasier still has me laughing. Fantastic.
The commercial i just saw sucked... it was for glade plugins and the push was that "hey, we've got an extraq outlet built in" working the premise that if your plugin air freshener doesn't have the extra plug, then you are probably too incompetent to actually unplug the air freshener, thus making it so that you can never use an extra appliance. People are dumb.
uhoh. 9:30 on a tuesday night... i guess i watch scrubs. tara said it was good, i'll give it a shot. When does the reality dating block start?
It's funny, yesterday and today mike was in boston pimping out for this new online banking system ING Direct, he was dressed up as a minuteman handing out cars and letting the masses know that on wednesday morning, ING is buying the T fares for the entire city from 6:30-9:30, and tomorrow i get to ride one of those free Ts. Hmm, this show ain't bad. I really liked it - i want it to be on again but alas. Now we enter the dreaded 10pm. Real World is on, vomit. Wow, there's really nothing on. Guess i'll watch 30 minutes of back to the future 3 and then th osbournes. U2 @ red rocks in on, but it keeps being interrupted by some bitch telling me to pledge money to WGBH. Besides, even when they're showing the concert, there is a huge black "pledge now!" bar across the bottom of the screen. but i'll watch it nonetheless. the edge is weird looking in 1983. sometimes i forget how much early u2 rocks. Like, they've been playing shit from boy and october, and this is such a great fucking rock n roll sound. This shit wouldn't fly today. It's also pretty cool that these guys have had tahe same lineup for about 25 years. And you never hear about any backstage horror stories of interband problems. alright, "party girl." bah, more lame talking from the pledgetakers.god this guy is lame, trying to be all hip talking about u2. ha, he just looked all goofy like tobey maguire.ouch, their goal is 85 calls. guess this is pretty local. they've only gotten 23. wish i had $80... i'dc= make it 24. they just played this damn song. When doc brings this chick back from the old west, doesn't that seriuosly fuck up the whole space-time continuum? How do they explain that one? I forget, but it's probably very half-assed. Ahahah just saw footage from a cher concert and the front row is all muscular gay guys.
Yay, the osbournes are on. This could be funny. ahahahah only 3 minutes in and i already love it. This is great. They all swear with british accents. And ozzy has dead things and crucifixes and shit. i want ozzy to be my dad. Ha, his kids have so much attitudem telling the nanny to fuck off and what not. Ahahah i can;t understand a goddam word they;re saying but kelly, the daughter, just threw something at jack's (the son) nutes. Yay. That show was greatl Ok, reality dating block is beginning, i should move into the reality dating show.
Ok, this dismissed has given me promises of lesbians. I opened my bag of tostitos and they are making mefeel all sorts of funny. I wish i had shredded cheese. Oh no! I left the remote on the couch. Shit. They seem stale, even though i just opened them. Watching the commercial for Panic Room I just realized something. In this growing age of technology, killers have lost a serious edge. Simply cutting a phone line just won't do it anymore now that everyone has cell phones. DisMissed sucks. It's like elimidate, but every interaction between the contestants is forced, it's like scripted trash talking. Although i will say, these shots of this chick's ass in a bikini are pretty nice. What a whore. She's dressing up in bikinis and dancing on a table for them. I repeat: what a whore. Come on dude, put on a bikini, it'll get you laid. It so won't, she's so playing him. She's gonna end this night with a chick. now he's getting a assage - in a bikini. haha the guy in the timeout is a dork. This show is sad. and, she's a total whore. she's a tease, she won't kiss him. What a fucking player. Now she's making the other dude go skinny dipping by hisself. SHe's SO not putting out to anyone. But she's making them think she will. I love it. ooooh he got a kiss on the cheek. Ha. hahaha AND he got dismissed. she kissed the dude that she kept on the cheek and he went for more and she was like "uh-uh" oh, and she totally admitted she was totally playing them. That rules. What a whore. eh, these two girls aren't that hot. the main girl is fucking hot though. god damn, look at her in a bikini. How old are these people? They look a lot younger than the blind date elimidate peeps. These girls look like 20. "It doesn't take a lot for me to orgasm." once again, what a whore. i heartd reality dating shows. oh yeah, hot tub lesbians. ooh, sensual strawberry eating. oooh, shower lesbians. oooh, soaping each other up lesbians. oooh slow-dancing lesbians. oooh doesn't-kiss-on-the-first-date lesbian. she's still a whore though.
The fifth wheel is on now. I said it last night, but i still mean it. alicia keyes is a cool host. is the fifth wheel always a girl? Because this is the fourth episode i've seen and there has been no guy fifth wheel yet. i really dug the fifth wheel last night. Ha this dude is ripping into the fifth wheel at their private dinner time. it's great. Cool, the guido is making out with the fifth wheel. and the nice guy is getting on with the cute girl and they're being all cutesy. Yay.
took a break to im and listen to music before the next wave of reality dating. But then my iming ended and i came back out here and guess what? there's a surprise episode of blind date! Wow, this show is getting raunchy. The little comments just referenced a hand job and used the word "funbags." and another hand-job reference. and now a cum refrence - dear god. hahaha roger lodge is great, "is it sweeps? it's gotta be sweeps." haha roger just did a "and by XXX, I mean YYY."
Ok, i really don't like change of heart. it sucks. And now, psychics. Like i kind of see how person to person psychic readings people can buy, because you;re in the room with the person and there is that whole "psychic energy" thing happening when two bodies are in the same room. but these phone readings? I just don't buy it. Are we supposed to believe that psychic energy can travel through telephone lines? Because i don't. Man, the premise for this show is sick. It really is, let's take a couple and send them out on different dates and try to ruin their rocky relationship. Granted, this episode both people pulled the change of heart card, but how awful if one picks the opposite. Ugh. Gross. Now onto something much more wholesome.
ELIMIDATE!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm, 4 guys on one girl this time around. Wonder if it'll be as fun as the past two i've seen with 4 girls... we shall see. Guys aren't nearly as catty as girls. sad. eww the exotic/dancer aspiringsinger-songwriter busted out a guitar and started singing the girl a song about archie comics. fucking lame ass song. alright, in poor elimidate fashion, one of the guys took her on a ride around the block in a limo - i really don't think that that kind of early isolation is allowed. hmm i have a blister on my index finger, probably from sunday night when i pulled the tray of potato skins out of the oven and it hurt like hell. uhoh, the guy who took her on the limo ride just bought her a hat. he;s trying a little hard here. "it matches your toenails" gay. OUCH. for the final elimination, she called three of her girlfriends to come and observe and help her decide. Talk about making sure theres no making out. And her dog. this girl is a horrible elimidate contestant.
And we'll wrap the night up with a final blind date.