self-titled: ^_^

ok so it's been a while. here's what i remember:

on thursday night i met lex at matt murphy's for some live jazz. we drank guinness and it was fun. the music was actually really good. katie punked out but she wouldn't have enjoyed it.

the next day was bostonians final show. i left work earlyish, put on my cool outfit and then headed to citysides. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah show was fun, alumni were loud, party was ok, lex was there yay blah. trying to think of any memorable friday night stories to tell and i've got none. spoke to adam for the first time since he and katie broke up last... may? anyway, that was fine, not like adam and i had any sordid history that i was avoiding heh. OR DID WE...

saturday rolled on after extended after partying or whatever... i guess some kids went to IHOP or something. i chose to not do that, but instead go to the comic book store. i bought monolith #1, and the first book collections of powers and 100 bullets. i then came home and read each and every one of them. monolith was ok, and got me excited because it was the first of 3 issues that are out and it's sort of like being part of something new. the first powers story was fucking awesome, not even considering the fact that the author was namedropped by seth cohen on last week's oc. 100 bullets was an interesting enough story but the art just turned me off hardcore, so no more of that.

after i read all my comics, i tried to play videogames, but i still had some more powers to read so i got back onto the bed, read an issue, and then took a nap around 5. i played in and out of nap zone for hours and hours until like 11, i watched madtv and an snl repeat (i'd have watched comedy central, but, you see, over the past few weeks comcast has been slowly taking channels away from us, comedy central included). anyway, at about 1 i was like, ok i'll tak off my glasses and watch cosby. i actually heard some cheers eps but got to sleep nonetheless.

next morning i was up early, like 9, to watch spongebob. it eventually worked out so that jonathan and i were going to foxwoods, but we had to wait for tony to finish the red sox game. so we went to tony's for the game, he made some exceptional burgers and we watched the red sox win and then the tre of us went down south to foxwoods.

just played $2-$4 hold 'em, i got up quick. at my height i was $180 profit, and then slowly pissed it away until i stood up from the table up $100 even. at this point, tony had been drinking straigh jack daniels for a while, and i had a few under my belt, so we went and did retarded casino stuff like roulette and slots and video poker. VIDEO POKER, by the way, being one of the most strangely meditative things i've ever experienced.. you're just in sort of this zen like state as you are playing 7 hands a mintute... anyway, i put in 5 quarters to start, worked it up to 40 credits ($10) in no time, got bored, switched to max bets ($1.25) and was out of there quick.

so that was foxwoods experience.

monday was... mondaytacular.

tuesday was probably the same.

then was today, which was more or less your standard wednesday, except for the fact that tomorrow is like friday, since coachella is this weekend. hooray for coachella. although katie informed me today that in california it is super hot, which sucks ass, terrence.
and then, in other news, katie got a job as alumni coordinator or something similar at KUA. Tim called up this evening to reflect on this evening's the OC and after the requisite OC talk (ps. awesome) he asked what i thought about that whole thing. and really, what can I? obviously i'm hugely thrilled for katie to get out of a job she doesn't like into a job at a place that she absolutely adores... how great is that? any reservations are purely linked to me being selfish. i mean, with the departure of katie (in an astonishingly quick month), what am i left with, really? i have tony and jonathan, who are sorta friends but not quite... and then short of that whoever else i play poker with once a week. you see, i'm incredible good at letting friendships rot away, it's one of my biggest talents. it's funny: i talked to adam this weekend, and the conversation was how i was half jealous of him that he just fucking packed up and moved to california. got a new start in every sense of the word. there's something so awesome and so romantic about that. but it's also somehthing that i simply CANNOT do. i'm way too much of a coward. and this all opens up a whole range of guilty emotions with the whole katie thing. on one hand, i'm oussed because shit, when she's gone i really don't have all that much here in boston. and on the other hand, i'm pissed because i KNOW she'll go to new hampshire, or texas, or the fucking sudan and make a fresh start, make a serious go at it, and be successful, whereas i KNOW that if you throw me in a similar situation i cower and do nothing. like it's sick, but i envy her... because she gets to go to a new place and start over. whereas, really, i'm starting over myself, but without the convenience of being in a new place.

like, it's times like this i realize what a loser i am. seriosly, in my life right now i have katie, and i have poker games with some buddies. and i'm not that important to her and they're not that important to me.

anyway, while i'm getting all deep and shit. i got my stock option plans today. and also, my mom called. she called to tell me that finally, after 2 years outta school, i'm approahcing the normal starting salary of college grads. and she wonder why i get pissed off when she mentions this crap/ y'know, i love it at staples... but i know it's not the wall street job. it's nothing special, but i really enjoy it there.

whatever... time for bed i guess.

who the hell gets addicted to pain killers? what is an addiction to painkillers anyway? "oh man, need another tylenol" well, i geuss if they're the grape children's tylenol that makes sense. but way to go jeff tweedy and your ibuprofen joneses or whatever. No wilco for me at coachella. I'm listening to the mp3s of the first pixies concert though, and that's cool. oddly enough, i wasn't all that excited to see wilco, it's just that they're a band i feel like i should see... i just don't imagine them really being anything special live. which reminds me, i need to get the new album.

so, briefly, this weekend was fun. went down to lori's dad's for lori's dad's 65th birthday gala. nothing particularly special to report. we (oly katie and I) got in super late on friday night. We sat around drinking with lori and her sisters and their husbands and boyfriends and whatever. saturday slept in, got breakfast, went to a mall, then back home. Katie and i watched groundhog day, and then everyone got ready for the night and had a few drinks. then we went to the dinner, right away i got a MASSIVE headache which hurt my life. i found some advil and seriously drank about 2 pitchers of water, then, about 2.5 hours later i was ready to go again. worked the free bar, and then we went to some local joint. a real hick bar, it was fun. there was a dude doing covers that were decent until he sang "jessie's girl" and abused the phrasing so that it was impossible to sing along to. but he followed that up with journey's 'don't stop believing,' which is quite possibly the best song ever written.

in addition to our songsmith, there was a wedding party at this bar, including the bride still in her wedding gown, getting it nice and authentic with cigarette smoke and spilled beer.

this song rules. how is journey so good? steve perry should be president. Or at least a senator or something.

after a quick stint at the hick bar we all went back to the house, i ended up playing pictionary with some of the couples. at one point, kim's husband joe, and mom, i swear i had nothing to do with this, suggested we put down $20 on a best of three match of pictionary. quite possibly the oddest request i've heard, perhaps it was the corrs light talking, that we bought from the bar. you can buy a case of beer for not outrageous prices FROM THE BAR. weird. anyway, i won pictionary and felt bad the next morning when i saw i had $20 from him.

sunday we just were lazy for a while until 3pm when we finally left after watching too much MTV. not a bad drive, found radio delilah after giving up after an hour of searching. she's lost her edge i think...

i've decided i hate movies that introduce something that happens to the protagonist that is impossible in our world. our viewing groundhog day is what brings this to mind. because hell, who wouldn't want to have an eternity to get one day perfect and learn a whole lot of crap in the process? it's all, "hey, look at bill murray becoming a better person and having the freedom to do whatever he wants until he figures out the perfect sequence" and then the movie ends and you're all "that movie rocked" and then you go to bed all set to wake up and find yourself at the day before, ready to live yesterday all over again with some added knowledge and the freedom to do whatever the hell you want. do i get that? nope. instead i watch movies and realize how in the movies people take risks and do crazy things, either because like bill murray, they know if it fails they can try something else, or, like everyone else, they apparantly live in a world without consequence, or better, without any consequence that they're actually concerned about.

so what's the moral of all this? well two things mainly. 1) i need to be bill murray in groundhog day and 2) "don't stop believing" is the greatest song ever made.

peace.

i have got little to say.

in the past week, well, i dunno. let me read last entry to find out what's happened since.

ok, on that friday i met jin and friends at the tam for some drinks and then we went to see the unicorns. it was fun before, after and during. unicorns kinda sucked, well, not sucked but not great by any means. afterwards we went back to the tam and then to the pill for some dancing and $3 sam adams. it was a banner drunk evening, full of stupid shit from college but with an older crowd. i'm telling ya... andy mccarthy.

on saturday i woke up around 10 and started playing city of heroes, which i continued to do until around 7pm when i went to buy beer and a quesadilla. then i played some more and eventually watched janet jackson suck ass on saturday night live.

on easter morning i woke up to the phone ringing at around 11. it was jonathan. he wanted to go to foxwoods. i said probably not but i'd let him know within the hour. 3 minutes later i was in the shower. (the away message?: "for the wonder of it all. but also for the wonder of our lord. way to resurrect, dog.")

we got mcdonalds and headed down. played 2-4 hold 'em. it was fun. i won $150. whatever.

this week has proceeded without much fanfare. well, actually yesterday was poker at tony's and i don't think i've ever had as much fun. we just all had a blast, we may have been drunk but honestly i don't know, because we didn't drink that much, it was just ridiculous fun. we played indian poker for chrissakes.

when i got home today i was bored so i bought in a $10 tournament on pokerroom.com. 2 and a half hours later i won the tournament and $50. an empty victory. it took WAY too long.

then i worked on a mix and then watched the oc. the most disappointing episode of its 20 episode or so run, but it was still good. i wish tim was online because i have some things about it i'd like to discuss with him but oh well.

then south park which was good. i'm on my second bottle of wine now, and as weird as it is, this bottle is not good. like hell, i've become quite the coniousseur of $6 bottles of merlot and this is just the absolute worst.

anyway, seth cohen was wearing a shirt today that said "take me out of my missouri" and then a big missouri. i laughed.

it's funny, on the new magnetic fields album are songs that, for the first time that i can think of, take an aggressively homosexual angle. now of course there have been gay songs in the past, but they've been gay because you know they're gay. but think of all the songs you can that are not sung by a male about a male, but are sung by a male narrator about a male. so many times you hear a dude singing about a dude. well, not so many times, but enough. but never before has the dude singing about the dude referred to himself in the song as a dude. and this makes a couple songs on the new magnetic fields a bit weird, well, different.

friendster appears down atm. ps. it's sad i'm going to friendster. it's like the last refuge of a scoundrel. and by a scoundrel i mean me when i'm drunk. i'm sure other people visit friendster responsibly. not that i don't. i don't know how i visit friendster, but it's certainly not constructive.

so jesus. I figured out what my life is missing: online poker.

I finally tried it out yesterday and played some .50/$1 tables. I lost $50 in a heartbeat. It was then i realized that limit poker online is worse than child porn. so then i played a single table no limit tournament. it's $5+1 and the top three players get money. first place is $25 and i assume 2nd and 3rd are each more than $6. I say I assume because i've won 3 tournaments, but never placed 2nd or 3rd. So after the limit poker debacle, i'm up a tiny bit of cash, and the $6 tournaments are fun. as long as i keep myself diverted with tv or something else like farming or writing this, i play right. it takes a lot and lot of patience waiting for the first 5 people to go out, but then it's big fun. i've folded like 15 of the last 20 hands. and 4 of them i had to pay blinds. it's great. and then it gets all tense when it comes down to three then 4. and all this for $6.

the only downside to this newfound fun is that i play less video games, which eats ass.

anyway... on thursday night i went to see sufjan stevens with tony and his roommates at great scotts. he was awesome. like super great awesome. the only instruments were just banjo and acoustic guitar, with the occassional poorly played trumpet and the very very occasional xylephone or glockenspiel or whatever. the meat of it was the 4 people playing occasional instruments singing behind sufjan. it was perfect reproduction of the chorus sound on the album only moreso. i felt like iw as at a campfire or something. i just folded 2-10 on my small blind cause i'm gay and 1% of my stack didn't seem worth it. 7-8-9 flopped. 5 on the turn... waiting... crap, don't get to see the river. oh well, whatever, nevermind.

john vanderslice followed sufjan, and seemed like an afterthough really. first of all, he looked weird, it was disappointing. he was like a surfer dude. second, while it was fairly rocking, what makes vanderslice great is what he sounds like on record, the production is really an instrument of its own with him. third, it was such a bizarre combination of performers. seriously, after the quiet, close, campfire-like folk of sufjan the last thing that seemed appropriate was straight up rock music. as it was i stayed for maybe half of vanderslice and then left.

on friday i bought tickets for the twilight singers at work. and then around 4:30 the people around me all started talking about gambling. and i had no choice but to dump the $15 i spent on the ticket and go to southie. damn, took a break to play a hand and lost it. still in decent position though.

anyway yeah, southie. this time i took jonathan AND tony with me, to try and make them give some back. and they did, for a while. they bought about $200 total from me in chips. but then somehow came back and each won between $150 and $300. i took home $250 profit myself, which works for me.

saturday i spent farming until 7 or 8 or so when i had to shower to go meet tara at mary anns. ouch bad beat. not so much bad as stupid. anyway, tara and dave where at mary ann's as was tara's friend from yale. seacrest just said 'seacrest, out' and i realized it's only funny when others do it. anyway, after a couple of beers at mary anns we headed to jake ivories, home of literally at least 9 bachelorette parties. at one point a group of them requested me to get up fro mthe table and i got up prepared to take a picture of them, and instead was made to eat a candy necklace off of the bride. anyway, was a fun time, typical jake ivory's. on an interesting note related to the evening, i had started a tab for convenience's sake. at the end of the night the check came back and it was like $82 or something. now, our waitress was standing right above me and i may have had a few drinks and math wasn't the most convenient thing to be doing at that particular moment as i felt rushed to sign for a tip. anyway, i put on $100 which i thought may have been high but was certainly a nice round number. i mean, as it works out it was 22.5% and i mean, out waitress did do a hell of a job singing. but the funny part is yet to come. the next day, i'm checking out my statement online and i notice that it was rung through for $98... just about 20% on the nose. i just don't understand what happened.

ok so i lost that one and am playing another. i wish something was on tv. however i am listening to the new magnetic fields which is nice. it's pretty much not possible to beat 69 love songs, but hey, it's cute that they're trying. not that this is bad, it's actually quite good, but like, it's like writing the bible and then trying to follow it up, you just wind up going door to door and having people slam it in your face. ok, that's a horribly inappropriate metaphor, but i so wanted to use it.

anyway, i guess the wrens are playing friday. i should go to that i guess.

seacrest, out